We’re all aware from Emotional Intelligence that Intellectual Quotient is much different. Stop and think about it: are you book-smart but not people smart? Or vice versa?
In his book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ and Working With Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman presents five categories of emotional intelligence. Self-awareness, Self-regulation, Motivation, Empathy and People skills.
A recent clip caught my eye from a CNBC post about the 6 things in business that are implicitly conveyed but should NEVER be said. Ponder them and you are sure to up your EQ!
- “You look tired.” I hate this one. Its sounds like either my mother is speaking to me and simultaneously trying to superimpose her idea of my ideal sleep, workout, and kid Ubering time commitments.
Or it sounds like something a client would say on the day when I skipped mascara! It’s true, I DO look tired when I skip mascara (message me on horror stories of eyelash dyeing as I am in the market!).
- “Good Luck.” Don’t say this, especially to your bud, who is killing it as an entrepreneur and you find them jetting off to here and there and you feel the need to tell them that they are “so lucky.” No, No, No! — on so many levels.
- “Always” or “Never”. DUH, unless you’re the ORIGINAL author of this post and you titled it 6 Things to Never Say. Then, perhaps your CNBC salary says it’s OK for you to weigh in on the subject.
Our word and our credibility is all we have — eliminate these two and make more believers in your tribe (that’s what we all want, right?!).
- “It’s up to you.” This is just LAME-O passive aggressiveness, and it needs to be GONE. Lead UP!
If someone is asking how to do something, offer an intention and reflective, “Hmmm, if it were me, I’d probably do, A, B, or C.”
Your staff, co-workers, friends and family don’t want to be dumped in the warm blue water to have the shark tank emptied into it—no baiting and switching. They want delivery.
- “Well, at least, I never.” My hormonal 12 and 14-year old girls own this one! So, it’s double taken, GROW UP.
- (Last but really not last) “As I said before.” So, my EQ gets a real ding on this one. I suck at not telling someone what I’ve already told them, and this includes what they’re asking for.
I am committed to doing better in the workplace and at home. I’m also nixing this line of thinking. It’s rude and serves no kind purpose.
I need to own the problem or the circumstance. I need to say: “When I first communicated maybe I was in a multi-tasking rage (not proud) and maybe, just maybe . . . I wasn’t very clear.”
Fair is fair. All in all, I’m pretty grateful that I don’t feel like I have too much to work to do on with my EQ, and as I said before (pun!) IF you’ve got EQ, then be thankful you do!